As I walked into a local supermarket this evening, I was somewhat daunted by a rather well-rounded lady, standing in the doorway. To endorse her control over her space, she just stood there, arms akimbo, elbows outstretched, to prevent anyone within a two-meter radius of moving past her. Her persuasive posture took on an even more foreboding assertiveness, as she swung around to relocate to an adjoining plot. It made a forbidding prospect of actually getting past her and through the entrance, unharmed.
In 2014, the Education Minister in England claimed that those students with pushy parents achieve more of their potential. «Helicopter parenting» has now been replaced by «sharp-elbow parenting», which according to the minister is essential to secure the most rewarding future for their offspring. How sad is that? So, brainy children (in this case) are not recognised by the virtue of their own merits, rather more, the intrusive drive of their parents. (Good luck to the teachers at parents evening). By definition, children from backgrounds where overstressed or single parents don’t have the time or impetus to propel their kids to a master’s degree, simply lose out. And apathetic kids who depend on being propped up by ambitious parents forget to develop an appropriate sense of personal responsibility.
It reminded me of today’s often desolate evolution in the public arena. Not for nothing is it often referred to as the «elbow society» as we, rather more courteous folks, try to navigate through the alpha-types in these narcissistic times. Maybe we are gradually becoming aware of those who wish to elbow us out of the way, on their journey to dream their dream. Social skills is not a faculty that is educated in schools, but in order to maintain a healthy society, maybe it should be. Perhaps the system of «first past the post» simply encourages the audacious of the species to push and shove, regardless of how many souls are elbowed into capitulation. Understanding, empathy and generosity seem to be antiquated values that have ever less place in modern civilisation. We can only speculate on how our society in general will be perceived if this unfortunate trend endures. Driving home through the rush-hour traffic, it seemed to me this evening, that even the cars have elbows, as they try to out-manoeuvre each other in the battle to be first.
Do we really want our future generations to achieve the maximum at simply any price? I can’t speak for the multitudes, but for myself, I feel most at home with tolerant, compassionate, helpful and generous people, regardless of their status in life – those who simply do their best. Life is not a boxing ring! I believe our children deserve to learn the real values of life, and not aggressive tactical behaviour, which is guaranteed to fracture our already sensitive community structure.
I believe it’s now time to transform this elbow society into a revival of the community life of yesteryear. Call me old-fashioned, but a little more goodwill, respect and empathy would transmute our progressively congested world into a more pleasant place to live.
Photo: Pixabay