Back in the day, when gardeners were robust and resilient, they used standard garden utensils, like rakes, brushes, spades and shovels. Then some bright spark came along and made life «simpler» for them. He introduced the leaf blowing machine, then sat back, goggled at his budding bank account and laughed his socks off.

There are probably many diverse varieties of leaf blowing machines, but I seem to reside in an area where the cheapest, noisiest devices abound and which potentially produce more pollution than a normal car, simply because about one-third of the fuel spewed out is unburned. Predictably, the gardeners who employ these deafening contamination bombs are generally not home-owners in the vicinity.

Well, right now, Europe is being exposed to the most boisterous storms I can recall. So, when I was left reeling from the impact of a startling noise this afternoon, I peered out of the window, expecting to see someone sawing up a tree that had been uprooted in the storm. What I then saw defied all reasoning. In gale force 8, with almost horizontal rain bearing down upon him, the little gardener was «blowing leaves» from somewhere to somewhere. His faithful servant followed him dutifully around with a long-handled broom, a dustpan and a long-suffering visage, to gather up the obstinate leaf or two, which appeared to be trying to take root on the ground.

In days gone by. this hostile gizmo of convenience was mainly dragged out of its mothballs just once a year in the autumn, after the last leaf had finally given up the ghost and flattered to the ground. However, it seems to have become a «must-have» toy, which needs to be amortized every week before the guarantee expires. Thus, this little stench-making, noise-offender is now a permanent feature for all gardeners worthy of their label. And we humble mortals remain defenseless, at the mercy of this weekly intrusion into our lives, as its reappearance looms large for each persistent recital. It’s alright for the perpetrator, since he sports his ear-set to ensure he isn’t drawn into the tribulation of this thundering uproar of his own making.

Trends come and trends go, and I await with eager anticipation the day, when some inspired mastermind of invention comes up with the lowly broom, with a multi-lingual manual, to save our planet. There again – I won’t hold my breath.

Photo:  Unsplash / Andy Holmes