Well, that was a gas! Another solo holiday. It starts already on the flight to your judiciously scheduled break. I know from friends, who are prone to speculate over single females sitting on a plane. Is the lady in the autumn of her life on a fishing expedition, to find Don Juan of the Costa del Sol? Or has she already lined up a tête-à-tête with an «unknown» on the internet? There again, is she bent on a «book» holiday accompanied by 300 pages of fiction, or an arduous self-help book?

I find myself in row 34, sandwiched between two mummified fossils who have cut adrift from humanity and find themselves non-comunicato. So, you lean back in your seat, trying to give the impression of composed elation over your impending break. To lend it all an authentic air, you insert your headset and order a glass of bubbly, and try to disregard the exhilaration of the clans in front and behind you.

Once in your 5-star hotel, you are assigned a kind of box-room (known professionally as a bedroom). Far from the sea view and spacious design in the advert, you seem to have been decanted to the back of the hotel, over-looking the busy road, with smells of the kitchen rising from below. And, how convenient, you are next to the lift, which seems to be transporting jovial souls past your bedroom at all hours of the night. The reception regrets woefully that there are simply no other rooms available to change. That is, unless madam would like to pay (substantially) more for an upgrade. «Madam» is tempted, but then again, you’re not intending to spend oodles of time alone in your room.

You go for an aperitif at the hotel bar, but there’s a prickly sensation that you are being observed as «on the look-out» for an adventure. It puts me in mind of the time I sat similarly in the bar of a hotel in Cyprus. A suited gentleman of refined exterior approached me to inquire how much I charged. Enough said!

In the restaurant, Madam is a bit of a thorn in the flesh too, occupying an entire table all on her own. The best tables are sadly all reserved for couples or groups, and you find yourself on a miniature table just outside the urinals. Naturally, paella or Chateaubriand is not accessible for singles, so you magnanimously opt for a plate of charred octopus and a glass of warm wine.

Who said you can’t have fun holidays on your own?

Photo: Petra Schmidt / pixelio.de